Flipper The Felon

The slap-happy splashers at a Chicago zoo made one patron fall head over heels into a lawsuit due to slippery conditions following a performance. Now if we could just get rid of these malicious mammals and also kittens when they knead on your chest while your taking a nap on the couch. Little jerks.......

For the rest of the story: A Bottlenose At Breakneck Speed

Whatsa Mattah You!!

Pizza is meant to be shoved in your mouth, not used to slap someone upside the head with. One Florida father's pie eating privileges have been revoked for the time being. Maybe he'll learn to enjoy the taste of prison gruel.

For the rest of the story: One Slice, Hold The Agression

School of Hard Knocks

A new graduate of Monroe College in New York has requested her tuition be repaid due to the lack of response for job placement by her alma mater. Now if only the government would step up and repay all the honest and hard-working taxpayers in this country for the lousy job it's done, all would be right with the world..... That and a lever action, spring piston, smoothbore barrel, Red Ryder BB Gun with adjustable iron sights and a gravity feed magazine. Well, you get the picture....

For the rest of the story: No Money, No Cry

Exsqueeze Me

So those crazy Germans are in the news again. Not trying to pick on them, but it's starting to feel like Letterman's "Stupid Human Tricks". Didn't this country give us some of the world's best physicists??

For the rest of the story: Ludwig Von Trapped

Scorcher In The Bedroom

A leaky air matress, a German, and some tire repair solvent make for a real sexy evening in one man's bedroom.

For the rest of the story: Eternal Flame Retardant

The Canary Has Landed

An ingenious plan to deliver a convicted drug trafficker tools to aid in his escape has been foiled by Spanish authorities. A 13ft long remote controlled zeppelin was intercepted and is now serving it's own sentence at the Hindenburg facility for wayward zeppelins.

For the rest of the story: Oneth By Land, Twoith By Balloon

So A Guy Walks Into a Bar and Says....

A bar in Madrid is encouraging it's patrons to verbally abuse the staff. Apparently it pays to be a buligerant drunk in this bar, because if you come up with a good or original insult you get a free beer! So when you get off from a long day at work, head on over to the Casa Pancho and let the expleritives fly.

For the rest of the story: Hey You...Drunkie!!