Flipper The Felon

The slap-happy splashers at a Chicago zoo made one patron fall head over heels into a lawsuit due to slippery conditions following a performance. Now if we could just get rid of these malicious mammals and also kittens when they knead on your chest while your taking a nap on the couch. Little jerks.......

For the rest of the story: A Bottlenose At Breakneck Speed

Whatsa Mattah You!!

Pizza is meant to be shoved in your mouth, not used to slap someone upside the head with. One Florida father's pie eating privileges have been revoked for the time being. Maybe he'll learn to enjoy the taste of prison gruel.

For the rest of the story: One Slice, Hold The Agression

School of Hard Knocks

A new graduate of Monroe College in New York has requested her tuition be repaid due to the lack of response for job placement by her alma mater. Now if only the government would step up and repay all the honest and hard-working taxpayers in this country for the lousy job it's done, all would be right with the world..... That and a lever action, spring piston, smoothbore barrel, Red Ryder BB Gun with adjustable iron sights and a gravity feed magazine. Well, you get the picture....

For the rest of the story: No Money, No Cry